ATTN Ladiez Who Instagram Marilyn Monroe Quotes: Pumpkin Spice Lattes Are Officially BACK!!!

LaAaAaAadieeeezzzzz: the Pumpkin Spice Latte is officially BACK and you know what that means: break out the black spandex, Ugg boots, and J. Crew vests because we’re going to go pick some motherfucking apples on game day! Couldn’t be more stoked to spend my Sunday walking around a dirt field plucking the fourth best fruit off trees while you force me to take another picture because you look “gross.” Love yaz.

Full Disclosure: Pumpkin Spice Lattes are objectively delicious and if I wasn’t so insecure I’d order one every day of the fall right before I head to Becky’s play to watch Bachelor’s In Paradise on ABC (highly underrated show).

So what if we order a salad entree at a steakhouse but a venti Pumpkin Spice Latte has more calories, fat, and carbs than a McDonald’s quarter pounder–don’t piss on my parade, you can’t but a nutrition label on bliss.


Life makes sense again.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.