Via iStockphoto / @crash7971 TikTok
A man with more than 30 years in restaurants says one bad steakhouse experience convinced him not to tip the server at all.
A couple went to a steakhouse chain to celebrate their 24th anniversary, only to be met with what they describe as “horrible” service.
The husband, TikTok creator @crash7971, a seasoned hospitality industry worker, says it’s one of the worst serving experiences he’s ever witnessed.
In a clip with over 2,835 views, he recounts what happened and asks other servers whether he was wrong for how he handled it.
What Went Wrong At The Steakhouse?
“I had to make this video because there’s a lot of videos out there with servers complaining that customers don’t tip,” he begins.
He says he has spent more than 30 years in the restaurant industry and has worked just about every job you can name.
“I was a line cook, chef, waiter, bartender, manager, general manager,” he says. “I was a research and development person for a restaurant at one time.”
Recently, he and his wife went out to celebrate their 24th wedding anniversary.
“We get kind of dressed up. We’re gonna celebrate,” he says.
They chose a local steakhouse chain that had always been reliable for good food.
“Never had really a problem with getting great food,” he says.
The restaurant wasn’t particularly busy when they arrived, and the host initially quoted them a 15-minute wait. They headed to the bar, but barely a minute later, their table was ready.
Once seated, however, the service started falling apart.
“We wait for about almost 10 minutes and then someone finally shows up,” he says.
His wife already had a drink from the bar, so when the server asked whether he wanted one, he ordered a Captain Morgan and Coke.
“She wanted to know if I wanted the Captain in one glass and the Coke in another,” he says. “That’s no. It’s a mixed drink. Please have it together.”
He also says the drink came without a wedge of lime, which is a common rum and Coke garnish.
“Obviously there’s some training issues there,” he says.
The couple eventually ordered steaks and sides, but after that, he says the server basically disappeared.
“She takes off, never to be seen,” he says.
He Asks to Speak To A Manager
Their food eventually arrived, and he had nothing but praise for the kitchen.
“Our food was phenomenal,” he says. “Steaks were cooked to perfection, side dishes were perfect.”
The problem, he says, was everything related to service.
He and his wife both wanted another alcoholic drink, but he says they couldn’t find their server. They also had to ask for water, and once it arrived, the server allegedly left again without checking back, refilling drinks, or clearing plates.
Eventually, he flagged down someone he believed was a manager and explained what had happened.
He says he clarified that he wasn’t asking for a free meal.
“We wanna pay for our check,” he recalls telling her. “I’m not looking for a handout.”
His point was that the poor service had also cost the restaurant money. Between another Captain and Coke and another margarita for his wife, he estimates they would have added another $20 to $30 to the bill.
On a tab over $100, he says he normally would have tipped around 20%.
The manager ultimately comped the meal anyway, despite him saying she didn’t need to.
He paid for the $7 drink he had ordered but left no tip for the server.
“This was not wrong for me not to tip this waitress,” he says. “She was unattentive, she did not do refills, she did not get drinks. She did not get my alcoholic beverages.”
They Ended Up Tipping Everyone But the Server
The couple didn’t leave the restaurant without tipping anyone.
On his way out, he says he walked over to the expo line and handed the kitchen manager $20 in $5 bills.
He says he asked that the money be split among the cooks.
“Your food was absolutely perfect,” he recalls telling them. “You guys deserve the tip, and they don’t.”
For him, the situation was a rare exception.
“I love to tip 20-some percent on good service,” he says. “Very rarely I won’t tip. But this time I tipped the kitchen staff instead.”
When Is It OK Not To Tip Servers?
In the U.S., unlike in many other Western countries, tips aren’t just complimentary. In many states, they supplement workers’ income, which means a server can be paid as little as $2.13 per hour in base wages.
Since many servers’ livelihoods depend heavily on tips, leaving nothing is often seen as a last resort, etiquette-wise.
Etiquette experts speaking to CNBC recommend using 20% as the standard for restaurant servers, then adjusting up or down depending on the experience.
Leaving no tip at all should generally be reserved for particularly egregious service. Even then, experts recommend speaking to management so the restaurant knows what happened.
Servers Chime In
Several people who said they work in the restaurant industry agreed with him.
“im an industry lifer. good for you. bad service deserves bad tips,” one commenter wrote.
Another said they usually tip 20% unless the service is especially poor.
“I’m 20 percent all day unless you super suck which is very rare,” they wrote.
One viewer who says they have decades of industry experience also agreed with him.
“No, you’re absolutely correct. I have worked in the service industry over 30 years. Some people are just not cut out for this line of work,” they wrote.
A fourth commenter said the incident is a symptom of a bigger issue.
“being in the service industry myself, I can attest that training and the maintenance of quality serving standards by management is non existent nowadays,” they wrote.
BroBible has reached out to @crash7971 via Instagram messages for comment.