Goddamn you, Rock. I’m waiting, hoping, begging for the chink in the armor. The dude can’t be jacked, funny, charismatic, and without a substance abuse problem. There has to be something dark below the surface, like a micropenis or gout. Well, we can officially cross “Looks shitty in a beard” off the list. The 45-year-old posted several videos showing off his new salt and pepper beard on Tuesday and he looks like he could chug a Colt 45 while simultaneously displaying his vast collection of leather-bound books.
Oh no way, women want to bang bearded Rock, including my girlfriend. It’s our anniversary.
This just in: I found something The Rock sucks at–button his damn sleeve. HAHA WHAT A SUPER TALENTED, WILDLY RICH LA-HOOOOSER.