The Rock Is Rocking A New Beard And Your Girlfriend Is All Hot And Bothered

triple h origin story rock peoples elbow

YouTube - WWE

Goddamn you, Rock. I’m waiting, hoping, begging for the chink in the armor. The dude can’t be jacked, funny, charismatic, and without a substance abuse problem. There has to be something dark below the surface, like a micropenis or gout. Well, we can officially cross “Looks shitty in a beard” off the list. The 45-year-old posted several videos showing off his new salt and pepper beard on Tuesday and he looks like he could chug a Colt 45 while simultaneously displaying his vast collection of leather-bound books.

Oh no way, women want to bang bearded Rock, including my girlfriend. It’s our anniversary.

This just in: I found something The Rock sucks at–button his damn sleeve. HAHA WHAT A SUPER TALENTED, WILDLY RICH LA-HOOOOSER.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.