Screenshot via Twitter/Sony
Hey, you. Yes, you. Come here. Lean in close, let me tell you a little secret. You ready? Okay….
FUCKKKKKKKKK THIS. Seriously, fuck it. Enough is enough. I’ve had it with this dump. We’ve got no food. We’ve got no jobs. OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!!.
I don’t know why exactly, but for some reason, this last month has reminded me of that iconic Dumb & Dumber scene: it just feels like we’re so far up Shit Creek that our pets’ heads are on the verge of falling off — nothing would surprise me at this point.
And yet, despite the consecutive massive Ls we’ve taken this year, we’re unfortunately only at the tip of the iceberg, as it appears that the motherfucking evil Venom symbiote from Spider-Man has touched down on Earth. FUCKING FANTASTIC. SWELL.
As if 2020 couldn't get any worse, it appears the Venom symbiote has touched down on Earth. pic.twitter.com/WazA5r9IeE
— BroBible (@BroBible) April 3, 2020
Look, people… I’m not even going to pretend I know what the fuck that amebous and clearly insidious looking pile of black sludge is. What I do know is that I pray this is some sort of supremely crafted and edited viral video — that’s our best-case scenario at this stage. Either that, or some awful viral marketing for Venom 2, which was supposed to hit theaters this fall. Anything other than those two options spells biiiigggggg time trouble for our humble little human race.
As for Venom 2 (the movie, not the potentially deadly substance you see above you), the film — which was in the midst of production at the beginning of March — currently remains scheduled to hit theaters on October 2.
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Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com