
iStockphoto
What’s the worst thing about waterparks 1-2-3 go! Uh ok, you’re right, pee and bare feet everywhere. The second best thing, though–climbing up steps, man! Steps are hard, especially when you’re holding a big ass raft. We spend 80 percent of the day at the waterpark waiting in lines and climbing up stairs, which rarely makes the juice worth the squeeze.
Well, German water slide design firm Wiegand.waterrides GmbH is motivated to ridding waterparks of all the unnecessary bullshit while bolstering the entire experience.
The company, in tandem with Up and Down Engineering, has shared computer renderings of the Slide Coaster, the “world’s first hybrid roller coaster and waterslide.”
Via Orlando Weekly:
This new concept is similar to the water coasters, but instead of relying on water jets or lift hills via belts the Slide Coaster has a roller coaster-like track that runs parallel to the water slide. The specially designed rafts seat two guests each and have a large wedge behind the rear seat. A sled trolley on the roller coaster track has an arm that lowers and uses the wedge to push the raft forward up to speeds of more than 39 miles per hour.
Wiegand.waterrides/YouTube

Wiegand.waterrides/YouTube
Wiegand states that the concept has an hourly capacity of 720 riders, way more than the typical water slide. Another crucial part is that there’s no need to climb any stairs because you enter the closed course at ground level and are launched up to the highest point of the ride.

Wiegand.waterrides/YouTube

Wiegand.waterrides/YouTube
While no potential locations for the Slide Coaster have yet to be shared, the introduction of the concept and an interest in the overhaul of antiquated waterpark innovation is enough to make my bathing suit a bit tighter.
Speaking of tighter suits, how bout the tush on this female computer rendering? Anyone who’s clicked on those Lois Griffin PornHub banners knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Wiegand.waterrides/YouTube
Where are you looking, guy in the blue diaper? The party is right in front of you.