Every Bro Was Chill On ‘Game Of Thrones’ Last Night


Even that fucking guy. I mean, look at him. Most “Come at me, Bros” end with a few missed swings, maybe a connected punch or two and a couple dudes collapsed in a heap of beer tears and shame.

This one ended with the raising of the undead. Imagine if that happened at the bar the last time you were out at last call.

Unlike episode six, where we awarded zero chill points, we’re passing ’em out like crazy today, because last night’s episode, Hardhome, was A plus. Hell, even the dick Wildling finally came around to Jon Snow’s side. In fact, the only unchill thing I saw was Daenerys telling Tyrion to cool it with the drinking.

Here are your chill bros.

7. This Fucking Dude


He doesn’t have an name. He doesn’t need it.

Chill Bro Points: 250

6. Ser Jorah Mormont


“You want someone to do some fucking fighting? I’ll do some fucking fighting.”

Chill Bro Points: 300

5. Theon Greyjoy


As Tyrion mentioned earlier, there’s something to be said for a man willing to reveal a terrible truth, even at a cost. That’s was pretty chill of Theon to finally come around.

Chill Bro Points: 400

4. Tyrion Lannister


Day drinking is the chillest thing a Bro can do.

Chill Bro Points: 500

3. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun


Ain’t nothing wrong with smashing zombie motherfucker after zombie motherfucker. I could watch him do this all damn day.

Chill Bro Points: 1,000

2. Tormund Giantsbane 


“Or. Or. I could just bash your fucking skull in and talk to someone else.”

Also, his willingness to forgo centuries of animosity is pretty chill.

Chill Bro Points: 5,000

1. Jon Snow


How many spinning sword slashes have you pulled off on your way to go head-to-head with a White Walker?


That’s what I thought.

Chill Bro Points: 100,000

Here are the rankings after eight episodes. Can anyone stop Jon Snow? Take it to the comments.

1. Jon Snow: 599,950

2. Jaqen H’ghar: 9,950

3. Tormund Giantsbane: 5,000

T-4. Grey Worm: 1,700

T-4. The High Septon: 1,700

6. Ser Barristan Selmy: 1,300

T-7. Daenerys Targaryen : 1,000

T-7. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun: 1,000

T-7. Ghost: 1,000

T-7. Roose Bolton: 1,000

11. Tyrion Lannister: 700

12. Maester Aemon: 600

T-13. The Wall: 500

T-13. Rhaegal And Viserion: 500

T-13. Poderick: 500

T-13. The Sand Snakes: 500

17. Samwell Tarly: 450

T-18. The Unsullied: 400

T-18. Ser Davos Seaworth: 400

T-18. Theon Greyjoy: 400

21. Lord Varys: 300

22. That Badass White Walker: 250

23. The Sons of The Harpy: 200

T-24. Winter: 100

T-24. Bronn the Sellsword: 100

T-24. Kevan Lannister: 100

T-24. Mance Rayder: 100

T-24: King Tommen Baratheon, First of His Name: 100

29. The Dude Boning Loras Tyrell: 0

30. Daario Naharis: -25

T-31. Arya Stark – 100

T-31. Stannis Baratheon: -100

T-31. Brienne of Tarth: -100

34. Myrcella Baratheon: -100

35. Melisandre: -400

36. Drogon: -500

37. The Sparrows: -1,000

38. Ser Jorah Mormont: -5,200

39: Lord Petyr Baelish -10,000

40. Cersei Lannister: -10,200

41. David Benioff and D.B. Weiss: Negative A Billion

Ramsey Bolton: Disqualified