WINNER: Qyburn
So Qyburn has been named to the King’s Small Council? Kind of? Maybe? He’s been named ‘Master of Whispers’ by the young boy King, but is that even a real title? I sort of always assumed that was some made up nickname given to Lord Varys, because that’s what he was best at, and he served the realm well. Technically Cersei’s not even on the King’s Small Council, she’s just appearing in her son’s stead, but she’s there and giving orders, and she’s brought along Qyburn to experience all the fun.
If that named doesn’t quite ring a bell, Qyburn’s that dude who’s not a maester, but kind of is, and he’s like reviving dead people (The Mountain) and messing around with human body parts because he’s clearly into blood-sex-orgies or something along those lines. I’m not sure what sort of pseudo-science he’s up to, and based on the White Walkers and the Lady Melisandre, there’s obviously magic and other-worldly shit going on in Westeros. So we can assume his antics are to be taken seriously. And now that Qyburn’s been named to the King’s Small Council as the Master of Whipsters he’s certainly a player in the ‘Game of Thrones’. So that’s good, one more dude to keep on our radar who can bring shit storms raining down from the skies.
Uncle Kevin Lannister (Tywin’s brother) doesn’t seem to pleased at all with the new appointments on the King’s Small Council. In addition to Kevin getting a promotion to ‘Master of War’ (best fucking title ever?!) Lord Mace Tyrell has been promoted to Master of Coin. This could either be a smart move, as the Tyrell family is the wealthiest in Westeros next to the Lannisters, or it could be a purely political move as Margaery Tyrell is his daughter, and as she’s about to be the #1 woman in Westeros it’s best to keep her father appeased.
Kevin Lannister drops truth bombs all over Cersei’s ego with his final words before storming out: “You are the Queen Mother, nothing more.” #wrekt
WINNERS: Gilly and Jon Snow
She can read! This wildling girl who once lived in a shack with her abomination of a father is slowly but surely becoming civilized. We get some pretty dark revelations about ‘Grey Scale’ (aka Dragon Scale), and how two of Gilly’s sisters died from it and had to be dragged out into the woods after they began to act like animals.
Stannis’ wife then busts in the room and ruins all the fun. This woman’s easily the least likable Queen in the show’s history. There’s not a single thing to dig about a religious fanatic like her, she’s just the dregs of Westerosi society.
We jump from that short scene to one where Stannis (the true King?) is berating Jon Snow. If you remember back to last week’s climax, Jon Snow gave Mance Rayder a swift death by shooting him in the heart and saving him from the flames. Stannis is understandably miffed about this, as he was a) trying to make an example of Mance and Jon Snow ruined that by showing mercy, and b) Stannis probably had some sort of weird ‘fire’ sacrifice planned to his Red God, and again Jon Snow ruined that.
Stannis and his Hand, Sir Davos, are trying their hardest to get Jon Snow to renounced the Night’s Watch, become a true Stark, and retake Winterfell. As a King, Stannis can in theory make Jon Snow a true born Stark in name, and he does have the power to name him as the Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North. But that would require the stoic Jon Snow to renounce his vows, something that would never happen.
On the one hand it looks like Jon Snow’s world could be flipped around. He could be named a ‘Lord’, he could revenge his murdered relatives, and he could put the North back at balance. But on the other hand he’s a sentimental bastard, and he’ll never give up his vows. Stannis is barking up the wrong tree here. So while it’s obvious to the viewers that as for all things ‘Winterfell’, Jon Snow’s life is bleak. But just then Sam stands up and nominates Jon Snow to be the next Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, and just like that Jon Snow’s back in the mutha fuckin’ game!
Samwell Tarly’s not someone you want in the field, but as we see in this scene if you’re in need of a brother to stand up and sing your praises, Sam’s your guy:
As for the voting of the next Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch it comes down to a tie, a tie that’s then broken by Maester Aemon, and HOLY SHIT DID JON SNOW JUST WIN!?!?!? One second he’s turning down the lordship at Winterfell and his life is unraveling, the next minute he’s the ruler of the Night’s Watch! This kid’s got some serious mojo….But all the mojo in the world won’t stop the eventual conflict that’s on the horizon between he and Alliser Thorne. Thorne’s going to be PISSED about losing to Jon Snow, and the two will come to conflict in the very near future. YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK.
WINNER: Arya Stark
Arya’s always winning. Even when life looks to be at its worst, she’s making the most of it. She chucked that coin into the water and took out into the streets of Braavos to make the most of herself. And just when we see her getting harassed by some dudes in the street, and are on the verge of getting to see her put the pointy end of that sword through another man, the ‘Faceless Man’ shows up to return her coin and bring her back to ‘The House Of Black And White’.
As this temple’s obviously important enough to have an entire episode named around it I’d say the chances are pretty darn good that Arya spends some time inside of it, or new characters are introduced from within. So this elderly black man brings her back to the temple of ‘Black and White’ and BOOM, just like that he turns into Jaqen H’Ghar:
One of the most beloved characters from seasons past is back. The stone cold killer who did Arya’s bidding back at Harrenhall has returned, and he’s now helping her once more on her quest to become the baddest of asses in the seven kingdoms. The return of Jaqen H’Ghar can only mean GOOD THINGS are coming, right? Somehow this harbinger of death is a good omen for Arya, somehow. The episode could’ve easily ended here on a high note, but as we all know it didn’t.
LOSER: Daenerys Targaryen
We jump back to Daenerys Targaryen’s plot line, where the the Son of the Harpy that she’d captured has been murdered and strung up in the streets to have an example made of him. Instead of thinking about it rationally, and understanding that the death of this traitor is good for the realm and sends a powerful message to her enemies, she chooses to see the murder of her enemy as a betrayal, and then holds one of her most powerful Mereenese allies accountable. She’s awful.
Because what better way is there to send a message to your people that they should help you track down the Sons of the Harpy by killing the one servant of yours how killed a Son of the Harpy? And not just killing him, but killing him in front of everyone in Mereen, your supporters and enemies, so everyone sees your foolish act.
With decision making skills like this Daenerys might last another month before her head gets cut off. Unless she has an extreme reversal of ruling strategy in the near future, she’s a goner for sure.
And that’s where we end! Her chopping off this good man’s head and then being forced to retreat from the angry mobs. She’s an idiot. Her people beg for mercy and instead she kills a good man in front of everyone. Then instead of allowing her trusted guards to stand watch over her after she’s pissed off the entire city she sends them away. But not ALL is lost, as Drogon returns. The biggest and baddest of her dragons. Her black messenger of fire and death:
If you have any questions about things that happened in this week’s Game of Thrones episode ‘The House Of Black And White’ then feel free to hit me up down below in the comments and we can talk it out!