Listen To Iggy Azalea Threaten To Chop Off Nick Young’s Sausage If He Cheats On Her Again

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Delusional. Absolutely delusional. I have about as much faith in monogamous celebrity marriages as I do in the 76ers making the playoffs this year. Believing that Iggy and Young’s relationship will last under the monogamous pretense is like investing in Blockbuster Video–it’s a futile effort.

Marriage is difficult enough when you’re not away from our partner for half the year and when the hottest humans in each city are lined up at your hotel room door looking to give you their best performance. Jose Canseco claimed back in 2005 that the one of the only baseball players he knows doesn’t cheat on his wife was Roger Clemens. Which HAS to be bullshit, but the point remains, the temptation has got to be oppressive.

For Iggy to truly believe this is a one-off incident is like believing Johnny Manziel will join a monastery. My life motto is if you lower your standards for yourself and other people, you will only be impressed with the outcome.

[h/t TMZ]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.