‘Last Week Tonight’ Ripped Daylight Savings Time A New Asshole

Last night John Oliver answered the question that I’ve been asking myself for years, too scared to ask my friends in fear of them calling me stupid: What the fuck is the point of Daylight Savings and why does it insist on making a liar of my microwave?

Oliver debunks the preconceived notion that it was put in place for farmer’s to give them extra time to harvest (I had no idea that was a preconceived notion) and educates us that it was introduced in World War I by the Germans as a fuel saving measure. And here I am thinking that the Germans greatest lasting legacy was Das Boot. I still maintain that belief.

Oliver also presents the pitfalls of Daylight Savings: increased energy use as well as an increase of car accidents and work related incidents in the weeks following the time change. There’s no question that the car accidents are caused by thirsty-ass dudes ignoring the roads in favor of checking out chicks in sundresses on the sidewalk. I would know, my car literally drives itself in the spring.

So thank you, John Oliver, because now I can confidently tell girls at the bar the illusive truth behind Daylight Savings, before they tell me they’re not interested and I return to a dark place.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.