BREAKING: Kim Kardashian Was The Last Person On Planet Earth To Use A Blackberry Phone

Ready to read something that will kill your braincells faster than a hit off a nitrus tank? Up until today, Kim Kardashian a.k.a. “old spoolgy” was using a Blackberry Bold phone as her primary method of mobile communication. Not an iPhone, not a Samsung Galaxy — A phone that’s been slumping in sales since 2011. I don’t know anyone who still uses a Blackberry. Maybe she and Kanye still BBN each other like it’s 2009 since it’s probably a way more method of secure direct communication? I don’t know.

The truly insane thing is that Kardashian was named a “mobile mogul” by Forbes, with her iPhone and Android gaming app making over $45 million. Seeing that she was on a Blackberry the whole time, I almost wonder if she ever even played it.

Best of luck trying to get a replacement. I just hope this entire saga warrants a new Bill Burr rant, because that’s the only thing that’s keeping me my head held high this miserable week.