Watch Madonna Bomb Her Way Through Her Very First Stand-Up Comedy Set On ‘The Tonight Show’

Madonna is many things: a musical legend, a fashion icon, a charitable advocate, a mom. But what she is not, and she proved it in cringe-worthy fashion last night on The Tonight Show, is a stand-up comedian.

Sitting down with Jimmy Fallon, Madonna admits that she’s “kind of a closet comedian.” (That’s probably where she should remain being a comedian.) So naturally Jimmy Fallon decides to give her a shot, introducing her as an “up-and-coming comedian making her stand-up comedy debut.”

“Will you guys laugh if my jokes suck?” asks Madonna before heading on stage. Good thing she prefaced her set with that is all I have to say.

You know what would have been funny, Madge? If you’d climbed up on some steps and had someone yank you down by a cape again. That shit was crack-a-lackin’.