One haunting nightmare that has been a theme throughout most of my life is personally finding out that one of my idols is a huge dickface. I’m not sure I could bounce back from walking in on Will Ferrell balls deep in my girlfriend, Tom Brady calling me a pussy after a Beta handshake, or finding out Bill Cosby is a sexual predator. I’m simply not equipped to face the reality that I’ve been idolizing the wrong guys all my life.
The Reddit community has been describing their saddest first-hand encounters with celebrities–ranging from confrontational to downright depressing. You can check out the whole thread here, or just take my word for it that the below stories are the most entertaining.
My brother met Gene Simmons back stage at a show he was playing in. Gene complimented my brother highly on his guitar playing but then said “too bad you’ll never make it” and just walked away.
Betty White. It was right after the Golden Girls (and Golden Palace) had ended. Her career was not in the best place at the time. I was at the Beverly Center in Los Angeles and saw a poster promoting Betty White signing her latest book about how much she loves animals. I liked the Golden Girls so I thought I would swing by the bookstore to take a gander at Betty White. It was so sad. I’ll always remember she was sitting alone at a big table with a stack of books in front of her. People were in the bookstore shopping but no one was buying her book or really acknowledging her. She just sat there, pen in hand, waiting. She would occasionally wipe off some imaginary dust to look busy. I’m getting the chills just remembering it. Of course, I was such a self-involved college kid that I just stared at her from far away. I should have just gone up and talked to her.
I had waited an hour and a half in line for a ride at Great Adventure. Was in the front seat line so the wait was even longer. Finally, I was next in line–watched gleefully as my train pulled in. And Chris Rock and his family come walking up from the exit and are given my spot, without waiting at all. I was both sad and mad and have held a grudge against him ever since.
Seeing a movie in Ottawa with my mother as a child, and Tom Green was behind us all alone, looking greyish. My mom told me not to bother him because Drew Barrymore had just dumped him.
A buddy of mine was a student at the University of Michigan while Michael Phelps was training there under Bob Bowman. He and a few friends were walking outside the natatorium and ran into Phelps, who was eating a granola bar while heading in to practice. They were pretty awestruck, and headed over in hopes of a photo or potential blumpkin. Phelps quickly finished his granola bar in order to shake my buddy’s hand. As they were shaking hands he transferred the wrapper to my buddy, leaned in, whispered “you can keep that”, and promptly walked off.
George R.R. Martin
I met George R. R. Martin at the Blaze Pizza in Evanston a couple of months back when he was in town to accept an award from Northwestern University. At the time, I was listening to the audiobook of A Clash of Kings, and he very excitedly told me, “You’ve got a ways to go to catch up!” When I told him that I’ve already read what he’s published three times, and am listening to the audiobook as a new way to experience the story, he just kind of … deflated. He let out a big sigh, and just said, “Yeah, I need to finish the next book. People won’t stop bothering me about it.”
There you have it, bros. Please leave your unique celebrity encounter experiences in the comment section, I’m interested to know. Aka I have nothing going on tonight.