‘Twas The Night Before Shark Week

'Twas the night before Shark Week, When all through the sea
All the creatures were stirring, because they don’t have TV
The drinking games have been planned with attention and care
Soon we’ll see the Great Whites, jumping through air

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of Air Jaws danced through their heads
And bros with their fins on, and gals in their shark suits
Had just settled down, tomorrow it’s a Shark Salute

Then on the TV, there arose a baby seal
I sprang from my bed to see what was the deal
Away to Discovery Channel, I flew like a flash
Skipped past Real Housewives, I had to see the splash

The kids in the streets were grinning all night
Tomorrow they’ll wake up to a beautiful sight
Shark After Dark for the late night gang
This week is sure to be summer’s greatest thang

The best programming, for one week a year
I knew this week I’d have nothing to fear
365 days have past, It gets here so quick
Oh how I wish the longer it’d stick

Now Air Jaws, Now Rogue Sharks, Now Megladon,
On Voodoo Sharks, On Top 10s, on, on Sharkpocalypse
To the top of the ratings, to the front of the news
With 24/7 programing – HURRY GET YOUR CREW

The week will be epic, from the start to the end
And you’ll be like Charlie Sheen, on a Shark Week bend
A bundle of finthusiasm will explode from your heart
And it’s like you won’t even know where to start

Your eyes how they’ll twinkle, your soul will be so Jolly
Your smile will be endless – it’s like programming Molly
You’ll high five your best friends, it’s time for show
Then it will start and you’ll be like “Bro, Whoaaa”

The fin you will make by putting your hand to your head
Will bring you that much closer, to the hammer-head
It’s fintastic, you’ve been waiting, and it’s FINally here
So why not let out an excited Shark Cheer!?

Great Whites are so quick, real predators and such
And you’ll oooo and aww in spite of yourself
Chug your last beer, for the shark out of water
The shows are only gonna get hotter and hotter
You’ll be left speechless, no words to say
And then it will be over – after 7 days
You’ll reminisce the good times you had with your crew
You might get sad because how it is all through?

You’ll now go to sleep, if you can
Tomorrow is shark week….can you believe it man?
Remember to say with some bark and bite….
“Happy Shark Week to all, and to all a good night”

BroBible Newsletter - The best sports and culture news directly to your inbox

* indicates required