Let’s assess the winners and losers in Ellen’s epic ‘Oscars selfie’ photo

Ellen-selfie-oscars

Ellen’s “Oscar’s selfie” won the night but who really came out the “winner” in the photo?

1. Jared Leto = Winner & Loser — His one eye is hilariously haunting and he did win an Oscar and got closer to Jennifer Lawrence than almost every other man in the world. Not bad for a dude who wears makeup even off camera.
2. Jennifer Lawrence = Winner — She found herself in a historic moment in pop culture and worked in a mention of her boobs. We love her more each day.
3. Channing Tatum = Winner — Tatum is the quintessential “I’m just happy to be here” guy. It’s like someone let your frat brother into the Oscars.
4. Meryl Streep = Loser — Remember the photo was ONLY supposed to be her and Ellen?
5. Ellen DeGeneres = Winner — Did a solid job as host and this photo was her idea. She actually broke Twitter. If you don’t count all those times Twitter used to break on its own.
6. Julia Roberts = Loser — You could photoshop her from the photo, it would still be as awesome, and no one will notice she was gone. Almost like her recent movies.
7. Kevin Spacey = Winner — Everyone wants to make that classic face and Spacey nailed it. Years from now, people will remember Spacey face.
8. Brad Pitt = Winner — He’s Brad Pitt. When does he lose at anything?
9. Bradley Cooper = Winner — Isn’t that the guy from All About Steve?
10. Lupita Nyong’o = Winner — People will finally say her name right.
11. Angelina Jolie = Loser — She’s gone from “Oscars leg” to “Oscars forehead” in a couple years. Sad.
12. Lupita Nyong’o’s brother = Winner at life — In ten years, people will look back at this photo and point to him and ask “who the hell was that guy?” I’m kidding, they’ll say that next year, but the guy will be a part of Oscars history.
13. Liza Minnelli = See for yourself.

Lupita’s brother is the overall winner. No debate.

Here’s everything else you missed from the 2014 Academy Awards