Hailee Steinfeld Might Have Written The Greatest Song About Masturbation Of All Time

by 3 years ago
Hailee Steinfeld

Instagram / Hailee Steinfeld


Call me old fashioned but there was once a time in this great country when people just didn’t go around talking about their diddling habits. Sure, we all jacked off like lunatics, but a person just didn’t put the fact out for consumption and they CERTAINLY didn’t put it to music.

Best known for her roles in movies like True Grit, Ender’s Game and Pitch Perfect 2, Hailee Steinfeld is quite the prolific actress. She’s also working on a career as some sort of crossover pop artist, and her first song is quite the strong showing. Titled “I Love Myself,” the song is a proud entry into the pantheon of songs about women doin’ it for themselves.

And what a song it is! With lyrics like “I’ll take it nice and slow, Feeling good on my own without you, yeah. Got me speaking in tongues. The beautiful, it comes without you, yeah.”

In other words, Hailee don’t need no bro when she’s got the dildo. And if that quote isn’t the top pin on Pinterest, I don’t wanna live in this world.

Here’s audio of the song and let’s just all sit here and wait until she makes a video.

[via Death & Taxes]


TAGSdirty songsHailee Steinfeld