For far too many of you, your “kitchen gear” is little more than a single glass, paper plates and maybe an old can opener you jacked from a hobo while he was sleeping. It doesn’t have to be like that, bros. You don’t have to live like this. You deserve a better kitchen, a full kitchen, one that fulfills both your every need and your every desire. Okay, maybe not every desire. Still, I won’t judge what you do with your spatulas.
In the pursuit of kitchen happiness, then, I’d like to help you out. Whether you’re just starting out and need an entire arsenal of kitchen gear, or whether you just need those last one or two things to make your kitchen complete, you’ll find it here. These are twenty pieces of kitchen gear that every bro should own. Just click on through and get it shipped right to your front door.
Let’s start off with something, well, basic from AmazonBasics. This dinnerware set is simple, elegant, and perfect for serving four people. Even if you live alone, there are going to be times where you need to entertain and you’re gonna need dishes to do it. And hey, at the very least, this will let you put off doing the dishes for a day or two.
This is a must have for anyone who doesn’t feel like making an entire pot of coffee – and then throwing most of it out – whenever they want a cup. The Keurig is designed to let you make one cup at a time, whether it’s one of their own designer blends sold by the pod, or whatever your favorite brand may be.
It doesn’t get any more basic than pots and pans, bros. This set, from that delightful imp, Rachael Ray, has everything you need, from frying pans to sauce pans of all different sizes. And the nonstick coating will make cleanup a breeze.
A mandoline slicer is one of those things you never knew you were missing until you actually use one. Think about all the time you’ve wasted carefully slicing food – and cutting yourself – over the years. This slicer eliminates all of that. You just set whatever needs slicin’ on there and let technology do its work for you.
Look man, you need a toaster. And if you’re gonna get a toaster, you might as well get a 4-slice toaster, especially for those hangover days when you just want a bunch of toast and don’t feel like making it one at a time. Or a couple of bagels, you know? I mean, you’ve earned this, bro.
Popcorn is a staple of every self-respecting bro’s movie night routine, but why bother with all that oil, splattering you as it pops, coating your arteries as you eat it? You don’t need popcorn of all things to kill you, and so consider the air-popper. You just scoop the popcorn in, the air heats up and pops it for you, leaving you with a healthy snack that you can then douse with butter. Let butter kill you, not oil.
Another basic, this kitchen set has pretty much everything you need to survive the kitchen wars. Spatulas, corkscrews, can openers, pizza slicers… you name it and it’s in here. And it’s all available for an absurdly low price.
This 0.6 cubic foot microwave is perfect for just putting on the counter and letting it do the cooking for you. And the 600 watts is enough to do that cooking without blowing a fuse – always a plus. You should have a microwave, bros, but you shouldn’t have to treat it like an investment like you do with other, bigger microwaves.
Look, do I really have to explain to you why you need silverware? And again, you need more than a single knife and fork, especially if you plan on having friends over. Good luck telling your date that she needs to eat that pasta with her hands or just suck it up like some animal. You need silverware.
Speaking of entertaining people, they’re gonna need something to drink out of and they’re probably going to want something better than whatever plastic cups you got from your various fast food excursions. And this set is perfect, both because they look classy and because they are cheap as hell.
Whether you’re mixing drinks or trying to get healthy by juicing it up, you absolutely need a blender. And if you’re gonna get into that blending game, you might as well go big with this “professional” blender from SharkNinja. Dependable, durable, and most importantly, powerful, the 1000 watts of blending power available here will let you blend everything from your favorite fruits to small animals. (Please don’t blend small animals, okay?)
That leftover life is one that you have to be prepared for, and this set of storage containers by Rubbermaid is the best way to do that. Don’t throw out all that extra expensive food. Just store it for later in one of the many containers included in this 42-piece set.
Tired of over-processed “juice” that is little more than a sugar delivery system? Maximize your fruit-juice’s health benefits by juicing it yourself. No more “from concentrate” juice. This juicer will get you the good stuff, and will let you decide whether you’re a pulp-man or you want that juice clean.
Much like a mandoline slicer, a chopper is one of those tools that will save you more time than you can even possibly imagine. Just put an onion or whatever needs choppin’ in there, and within seconds it’s all done. And, again, it’s all done without you cutting the tip of your finger off. Always a plus.
Sure, you can make sandwiches by hand, but why should you? Especially when you want a nice, hot grilled sandwich? This panini press from Hamilton Beach will take care of all that for you. No more flipping on the stove, hoping you don’t burn the shit out of your delicious, delicious sandwich. You deserve this, bro.
Ever try to mash potatoes with a fork? Yeah. That’s why you need this hand mixer, which is one of those tools that you don’t even think about until you need it, and then you realize that yeah, this is something that you definitely use more than you realized.
The slow cooker is an underrated weapon in any food lover’s arsenal. Without one, you’re only limiting the range of meals you can, well, cook up. This one makes 5 quarts of food, and can even handle roasting a 5-lb. chicken. Perfect for when you’re hosting a bunch of people, or whenever you just want to eat like Caligula.
A good set of knives is crucial for any bro’s kitchen, and here’s all you need to know about this killer knife set: it’s priced right. Buy this. Now.
Hamilton Beach boasts that this is an “Indoor Grill that delivers Outdoor Grill results.” That’s a hell of a claim, but even if it’s close to being true, this is a must have given that there are times when outdoor grilling is foiled by the will of the gods. One benefit of an indoor grill? The drip tray, which gathers all the grease from your grill, making both cleaning easier and your meat healthier.
T-fal FR8000 Oil Filtration Ultimate EZ Clean 3.5-Liter Fry Basket Stainless Steel Immersion Deep Fryer
Look, I’ve talked a lot about eating healthy here, but let’s face it, sometimes you just want to deep fry everything, and for those times, this deep fryer is your best friend. Others may frown upon you deep-frying a whole chicken or an entire package of hot dogs or a gallon of ice cream or your own finger just to see how it would taste (like chicken), but not me. That’s because this is America, damn it, and nothing is more American than the beloved deep fryer. So, buy this, deep fry your freedom and God bless America, you noble patriot.