Patriots ‘Six Rings’ Shirts Are Fresh Off The Press And Perfect For Wiping Up Hater Tears

The majority of America is kicking and screaming about how a boring game didn’t pair nicely with their seven-layer dip. They are crying about how obnoxious Patriots fans are, how we don’t deserve the unprecedented success. They’re scrambling to dig up the tired, microwaveable cheating takes to validate their anger and deflect the fact that their fathers didn’t hug them enough growing up. They just can’t help themselves when they shout loudly that Boston is a racist city when Los Angeles literally nearly burned to the ground in the 90s because of it.

They need to hate us. They will smear the character of the fine folks of New England to justify their resentment. They will feed you rubbish that the pilgrims actually landed in Trenton, New Jersey and the American Revolution just won itself.

But as we know, the winners write the history, so make sure you’re on the right side of it. The only way to do that is by fighting libel and tyranny and COPPING THIS MERCH.

All shirts are premium-quality and offered in 100% cotton or tri-blend. And because I like you, use code “SB15” at checkout to get 15% off your order!

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Wear these loud and proud, my friends. You’ve earned it for all you’ve been through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXOwkoGXtog&feature=share

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.