BRO CALL: We May Not Be As Good At Sex As We Think We Are, Says Our Girlfriends
So bros, you’re probably wondering why I called you in here today.
First off, Billy please don’t speak when I’m speaking.
Secondly, I wanna say that you all have great personalities. You’re all stand up men. Your mothers are proud.
And lastly, you suck at sex and everything your loved one has been telling you is a complete fabrication.
But don’t take it from me. I know I suck at sex. Take it from Cosmopolitan, ya know, the publication that’s sitting on your girlfriend’s coffee table. Cosmo recently released a survey about female orgasm habits.
Please sit down for this.
Let’s go a little deeper. You’re going to need to if you want to change the above percentages.
Now this, my friends, is the root of the great gender divide. 27% of females report that they faked an orgasm to end sex more quickly. Whereas, I think I speak for us all when I say that 116% of men think about a ham sandwich during sex to last just a littttle longer. Most of my life is consumed with how to become better in the bedroom while my girl’s thoughts are consumed with how to make it end.
Fuck, I wish I were gay.
If you want to read more stats that will make your penis shrivel even further into your stomach, check out the complete survey here.