Caffeine addicts like myself are always on the lookout for new ways to get our fix. Coffee is about as inconvenient as it gets, so I’ve found 5 alternatives you can take with you anywhere. Now you’ll need a new excuse for why you’re a crabby little bitch.
Caffeinated Chocolate: Awake Chocolate Bars
Chocolate naturally has a very small dose of caffeine in it, but the wise folks at Awake kicked it up a dozen notches. Each bar contains as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. That statement means pretty much nothing now thanks to the high variance within coffee, so it’s probably better to just say 101 milligrams. It’s half of a 5-Hour energy, which is probably a more reasonable dose. Plus, you can break it into pieces and get your boost a little at a time if that’s more your style.
Awake’s mascot is Nevil the owl, and they rock the tagline, “Give 3pm the feather.” I’ll can get behind that. You can use the locator to see if it’s sold near you or just buy it on Amazon like a normal person. They are just under $2 per bar, and come in surprisingly delicious milk chocolate and caramel varieties.
Caffeinated Water: Hydrive Energy Water
What looks like Powerade, tastes like Gatorade, and works like coffee? Hydrive Energy Water. Don’t confuse this with just another energy drink though. It’s water first, boost second. And oh what a boost it is. There’s 100 milligrams of caffeine in an 8oz serving, and the bottle is 15.5 ounces. MATH! The upside is that the whole bottle can be considered one serving thanks to containg only 30 calories. If you care about such comparisons (which you probably don’t), a standard can of Red Bull has 110 calories.
It’s surprising given the very low sugar content that it tastes similar to Kool-Aid. Just don’t use all the extra energy to go smashing through any walls yelling, “Oh yeah!” It appears to be sold all over the place, so here’s the locator to check near you. Once you determine if you like it, you can find it on Amazon for $2.42 per bottle.
Caffeinated Mist: Sprayable Energy
We’ve reviewed Sprayable Energy extensively, and it remains my favorite method of caffeine intake. Having 40 dozes in a tiny tube in my pocket is the sort of power that I just can’t get over. No packing multiple bottles or making extra stops, it’s always there when I need it. Plus, if you want to be the kid with the coolest new toy in the sandbox, caffeine you spray on your skin is the way to go.
The one downside that I’ve thought of is the potential for losing it or having it taken away. I had Sprayable Energy in my pocket when I went to see Kaskade this weekend and was afraid security was going to shut me down. Thankfully they never noticed it hiding behind my phone, but it would have been tough to explain had they. As for losing it, the tube is large enough that it isn’t hard to keep track of, but I’ve never gotten to the bottom of a chap stick before losing, so it’s a reasonable concern.
Caffeinated Inhalers: AeroShot
The precursor to caffeine you spray on your skin was definitely inhalable energy. What was once just an internet April Fools Day joke became a reality with the introduction of AeroShot. I assumed it was just a gimmick, but the stuff is incredibly effective. Each inhaler tube contains 100 mg of caffeine, which takes about 4 puffs to completely consume. That means you can spread out the dose if you’d like or hammer it all at once. It’s your world.
The biggest bonus for me was that it kicked in right away. While it normally take about 15-20 minutes to feel the effects of caffeine, the boost hit me in about 5 minutes. You can’t beat that. Instantaneous energy is the future! The original downside was the bitterness (natural for caffeine), but word on the street is that has been toned down. It should be all things go for AeroShot takeoff. It’s $2.50 per doze, and is cheapest on their own website.
Caffeinated Candy: Energy Gummy Bears
Vat19 does a lot of things right. They have some of the best novelty products in the game. Their Energy Gummy Bears aren’t just a gimmick though, they actually work. These tiny Winnie the Poohs get their boost from a combination of caffeine and taurine, and supposedly contain the same amount of Gummiberry Juice as an energy drink.
My original plan was to use them to make Rummy Bears, but I ended up just eating them all instead. What can I say, I’m addicted to caffeine and candy. They never had a shot. It might be time to re-order and give these little fellas a shot at the alcoholic big time. They are $1.50 per pack or 12 for $16 from the Vat19 website.