18 of the most memorable Al Bundy quotes

“Today is the first day of the end of your life.”

YouTube/FOX


Al Bundy from Married With Children was a hero. He was a troubadour of the monotony that is Married Life and fatherhood for eleven long seasons on FOX, and for that we salute him. Today we pay homage to Al Bundy quotes by putting his words to pictures of his finest moments on the show. So without further ado, here are 18 of the all-time greatest Al Bundy quotes.



Popular quotes can serve both as a reminder of humility, a source of humor and a catalyst of inspiration. So if popular quotes is what you fancy then be sure to check out past editions of this post here.

"What was I thinking when I said "I do"? I'd already had sex with her; I didn't need that again."

YouTube/FOX


“You know I never danced unless it was gonna get some sex for me.”

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“Don't put on a dress and ask us if it makes you look fat, we hate that. Besides it's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat."

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“I'm a living example of how the brain really doesn't need blood to work.”

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“Why is it that Elvis is dead but I'm in hell?”

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“Give me beer or give me death!”

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“Love is not only blind but stupid.”

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"Women, you can't live with them... the end."

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“It gets better each time as long as it's never with the same woman.”

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"The 8-track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to a wife: an earlier, better version."

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“Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for."

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"I'm so hungry I could eat a vegtable."

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“Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.”

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"There's no Hell like home."

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“Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay but you never get anything back.”

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“It is okay to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.”

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“A man's home is his coffin.”

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