A woman named Crispi set fire to her boyfriend’s house using bacon because irony

Bacon via Shutterstock


Cameo Crispi is a Utah woman, not an 80s R&B singer, and she’s in a whole heap of delicious trouble.

She’s facing a laundry list of charges after cops say she tried to set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s house by leaving a pound of bacon burning on the stove. What a cruel trick! Dying to the scent of delicious bacon! Lock her up.

Here’s what Cameo did (allegedly):

Her former beau called police in Naples on March 14 to complain about Crispi repeatedly calling and texting him. He also told police he wanted her out of his home, according to KSL.

The officer who arrived at the scene reported seeing smoke coming out of the front door and an “obviously impaired” Crispi inside, according to the Deseret News. The officer says that there was a wood stove left open, hot coals on the floor, and a cookie sheet with a pound of bacon on it sitting on top of a stove burner set to “high.”

It’s a good thing I wasn’t the officer on the scene. Most of the evidence would be in my mouth.

“I observed… the bacon to be severely burned and smoking badly,” the cop wrote in his report.

Eh, wouldn’t stop me. It’s bacon. As long as it remains bacon, I’m all in.

Cameo Crispi Allegedly Uses Bacon To Start Fire In Ex-Boyfriend’s Home [Huffington Post]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.