9 Russell Brand quotes you should commit to memory right now


British comedian Russell Brand is one of the funniest men in entertainment, and Russell Brand quotes are often as hilarious as they are memorable.

In addition to being an incredibly funny comedian, Rusty Rockets is also an amazingly gifted actor, and a Guyism reader (as he’s so graciously shared a few pieces of our content in the past). So, in today’s round up of popular quotes we’re taking a look at 9 of the funniest and most memorable Russell Brand quotes.

And if these Russell Brand quotes aren’t enough to quench your thirst for funny, for more galleries of popular quotes from comedians, authors, and all around notable gentlemen you can head on over HERE to our library of popular quotes on Guyism.

“Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth.  Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.”

“I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with [such] a slender grasp on grammar!”

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"It's difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you."

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“Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT.”

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“We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.”

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“I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One." And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.”

"The story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet.”

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“I want to change the world, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterwards.”


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