Baby oil in the hallway? Child’s play. Toilet paper on the principal’s car? Amateur hour. Sending female students a letter saying the school is conducting a “mandatory vagina inspection”? Now you’re talking. School officials at Prior Lake High School in Savage, Minnesota are searching for the student(s) involved in a senior prank. A prank so elaborate it appeared on Prior Lake High School letterhead.
According to school officials, at least 50 female students received this letter at their home. Because it was placed directly in their mailbox (pun intended), the United States Postal Service might get involved. NEWMAN!
Putting anything — fliers, letters, advertisements — in residents’ mailboxes without paying postage is a federal crime and could be either a misdemeanor or a felony, said Jeff Long, spokesman for the U.S. Postal Inspection Service in Minneapolis.
Listen, if I’m going to be charged with a crime, misdemeanor vagina inspection is the way to go. Mostly because it sounds cool—and like, reminds me of someone walking around on a beach with a magnifying glass and a deerstalker cap, Sherlock Holmes style.
But I digress.
The citizens of Savage, Minnesota are kinda pissed about this prank. So pissed they dare not utter the word “vagina.”
The school isn’t quite sure how they’ll punish the person or persons responsible. Also, no one at the school seems to have a sense of humor. /fart noises