Introducing ‘Spray Cake’–the final frontier of laziness

by 4 years ago

Is baking a cake or purchasing one at the store too much of a hassle for you? Meet ‘Spray Cake,’ and invention by two Harvard students that’s changing the cake game as we know it.


The cry of the people rang out: the future is NOW. We have the capabilities. No longer can we afford to be encumbered by the shackles of bakeries and conventional ovens. Our cake MUST be sprayed from a can.

And thus, on the 7th day of No-Fux-Given, ‘Spray Cake’ was born…

TIME reports:

Two Harvard students are working to patent Spray Cake, which releases cake batter out of a dispenser that works like a whipped-cream can. The accelerant in the can releases air bubbles inside the batter, eliminating the need for baking soda and baking powder so the confection is ready to eat almost instantly. It takes 30 seconds to bake a cupcake in the microwave, and only one minute to bake a full cake.

But what is the biggest wrench bound to be thrown in the plan that is ‘Spray Cake’? Well, John McCallum and Brooke Nowakowski, the founders and juniors at Harvard, are dating. What upstart these days hasn’t ended up poorly when the co-founders have been commingling? Ahem, Tinder, ahem.

All that aside, this could really be the product America wants, though certainly not the product it needs. Just THINK of the endless opportunities afforded from living in a world of cake in a can? You could have cake round the clock, at just the push of a button. Let’s look at another tutorial, shall we?

Cake in the car? That can happen, just pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds on your way out the door. Cake while you do your taxes? Well, just as long as you’re okay with taking a 30 second break from your own personal hell.

In closing, I’d just like to point out that finally the glory has been brought back to Harvard after years of living under the Mark Zuckerberg shadows. John McCallum and Brooke Nowakowski asked not what cake could do for them, but what they could do for cake. I expect applications to soar as students seek to work under the tutelage of these geniuses in their final year.


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