Man robs bank wearing the dumbest shirt ever

Police and FBI agents solved a Denver bank robbery case in just five hours.

It didn’t hurt that the suspect is a moron.

After being greeted by a female teller, the 68-year-old suspect with white hair and a salt-and-pepper beard, told the woman “This is a robbery, give me the money.” The suspect handed the teller a dark bag and told her to fill it with money and then instructed her to hand it to the next teller. She filled the bag with even more money. The suspect took the bag and fled the scene in a getaway car.

He made two crucial mistakes — he was wearing a shirt with his name on it and the getaway car was registered to him.

The cops found John David Martinez at a Ramada Inn not far from the bank. Martinez said that he and his wife had been evicted from their home three weeks ago. They’d moved into the Ramada Inn three days earlier. Before you feel bad for the guy, know he’s got a criminal history for assault with a deadly weapon, forgery, criminal impersonation, DUI hit and run and resisting arrest.

[via ABC News Denver]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.