Meet Lil Poopy, your new favorite rapper

He’s nine years old and slaps ass like a man of at least 15. The New York Daily News has one of those “only in America” stories today about a nine year old rapper with the insulting sobriquet of “Lil Poopy,” his Svengali father, his sexually explicit videos and more.

So this is Lil Poopy. His real name is Luie Rivera Jr. He’s been rapping for a few years, but unlike most underage rappers through history, his subject matter is… a little more adult. His first mixtape was entitled Coke Ain’t A Bad Word and his lyrics are unabashedly about the drug trade, including calling himself a “cocaine cowboy.” He’s been signed to French Montana’s Cocaine City Recordz and regularly performs with him at clubs, where he pulls in $7,500 per show. That’s pretty good paper for a little dude.

Unfortunately, the Man doesn’t think so. Brockton police have filed a request for investigation with Massachusetts child welfare officials against Poopy’s father, Luis Rivera. They allege that having your kid rap about selling cocaine and slapping women’s asses in videos is a form of child neglect. Poppa Poopy defended his kid to the Enterprise News, likening the behavior to what happens at a baseball game. “When you hit a home run, when you go to the bleachers, they tap you on the butt. He’s not doing anything wrong.” Here’s the video – does this look like any baseball game you’ve ever seen?

I’m not sure what to think about this. Sure, hip-hop is a culturally significant art form and should be embraced on its own merits. But is there really anything beneficial in indoctrinating a pre-teen into a world that values material possessions and illegal drugs?

Honestly, the funniest thing about this whole story is that the kid calls himself “Lil Poopy” and it’s in all of his songs. Is he going to pull a Lil Bow Wow and just go by “Poopy” when his pubes come in? I really hope so.