Wife Swapping Bible Beaters Want You To Know That Swinging Is Just God’s Plan

by 5 years ago
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An extremely devout Christian couple down in Florida are trying their best to spread the word of their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and they’re doing so by swinging and wife swapping.

Dean and Cristy Parave are spreading the world of Christ by opening up their bodies to other swingers, according to this video.

In the video below, Dean Parave tries to break it down like this: “What I think about being a devout person is that God’s not gonna put a lion with a bunch of elephants, so what’s he gonna do, He’s gonna put a swinger with a bunch of swingers to spread his word. Simple as that.

Really Dean, it’s as simple as that, eh?

The NYPost reports:

Cristy Parave and her husband Dean are the unashamed bodybuilding Jesus lovers bringing couples together and introducing them to their wild lifestyle of swapping sex partners and bible verses, Barcroft Media reports.

When the fitness gurus got sick of finding swingers online that couldn’t meet their standards, they decided to set up their own swinging network – FitnessSwingers.com. They have been touring the US ever since meeting couples who want to join in and indulge in their holy promiscuity.

The couple first met at a bodybuilding competition and simply don’t care what people say about their swinging. They firmly believe that despite their unfaithful marriages, the big guy upstairs doesn’t have a care in the world that they’re defiling their sacred vows.

I’m not as devout a Christian as many people out there. I’m an Episcopalian and really the thing we’re most proud of is that we were the first to have a gay Cardinal in the Church, and spread equality. I’ve never sat around memorizing scripture, but I’ve been to Bible camp as a kid and had it read to me.

Now let me be very clear, I AM NOT IN ANY WAY SAYING WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS RIGHT OR WRONG, I’m just about to show you how quickly it is to find Bible scripture proving this couple is stupid, and full of shit, just by searching “Bible verses against adultery”…Here we go:

Proverbs 6:32:
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.

Hebrews 13:4:
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Leviticus 20:10:
And the man that committeth adultery with [another] man’s wife, [even he] that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Can I stop now? That took me all of two seconds to find out that in the words of their God these swingers are in fact full of shit. Case closed.

For more like this (or to tell me how wrong I am about these swingers being morons) you can follow me on Twitter HERE.


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