10 Weird Facts About Orgasms For When You’re In Need Of An Excuse To Go Pump Your Rooster

As if you even needed an excuse to go adjust your antenna in the first place, but in the unlikely case that you do we have 10 facts you can throw out to people when they ask you why you started spontaneously masturbating in the middle of their garage. “Well you see Jimmy, orgasms flood the brain with endorphins, which are powerful painkillers. In fact research led by a German neurologist investigated whether sexual activity helps in relieving pain, and 60% of people suffering from migraines involved with the study found that their pain was relieved after having an orgasm. As I’m sure you’ve realized you are a horrible bore and terrible pain in the ass to be around, hence why I’ve stopped everything we were doing to jerk off right here in your garage.”

Of course, you could also just as well use these facts to look intelligent and highly educated, but that doesn’t sound nearly as confrontational or awkward as stop, drop and furiously masturbating yourself is.

[H/T Alltime 10s]

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