Nostalgia is a weird thing. It strikes at random times and can affect your mood, either negatively or positively. This week I became incredibly nostalgic for middle school. Why would I yearn for the most awkward three years of ones life? I wish I could tell you.
As I reflected upon my middle school experience (I did this by looking through my old Facebook pots and photos, which I DO NOT recommend doing if you want to like yourself), I came upon 25 reasons why I am nostalgic for middle school…
1 AIM
2. Statuses on AIM…example: “<3 I have a new crush ha”
2.5. Your status on AIM being the song you are listening to…example: “Fergie-Fergilicious”
3. Taking pride in how many friends you have on Facebook.
4. BOYS: Friending the hottest girls in your future high school, while you were still in 7th grade.
5. GIRLS: About to friend the hottest boys in your future high school then thinking better of it because you never know, he may want to date you one day and you don’t want to ruin that by him thinking your “weird” or anything like that.
6. Trying to stay under your 500 text messages a month limit.
6.5. Being pissed off at that friend who has unlimited texting and spends four of your incoming messages on a message that literally could have been one.
7. Being “married” to someone on Facebook. Then consequently becoming a real couple.
8. Not talking to your boy friend/girl friend, but, don’t worry, you’re totally still dating.
9. Going to the movies with a group of kids, one of them being the girl/boy you have a crush on. But, you aren’t the only one with a crush on them…
10. Developing the balls to text in class, then telling all your friends about it.
11. Being caught in class texting then saying “no Mrs. Smith I was just texting my grandma, its her birthday” even though your grandma is dead and never had a cell phone….you rebel, you!
12. Middle school dances.
13. Not dancing or talking to the opposite sex at middle school dances.
14. Demanding more middle school dances, even though all you do at these dances is sit in a chair and do nothing.
15. BOYS: Going up to a girl, saying “do you want to grind,” even though you don’t know how to, and then post-grind literally thinking you just had sex for the first time.
16. Axe
17. BOYS: Changing your Facebook employment to “The NFL,” because for some reason you think you are a future pro athlete.
18. BOYS: Changing your Facebook employment to “Fuck bitches get money”
19. Becoming “brothers”, “sisters”, “cousins”, “aunts”, “uncles”, “grandfathers”, and “grandmothers” with at least 15 of your friends. (If you don’t believe me, go on an 18 year olds Facebook and look at the relatives sections).
20. Your life getting 100x better when you finally got a phone with a QWERTY keyboard.
21. Getting an iTouch for christmas.
22. Posting on your crushes wall.
23. DANCING TO CRANK THAT BY SOULJA BOY
24. AND THE MOST MIDDLE SCHOOL THING EVER GOES TO….:
Girl: “Heyy”
Boy: “Hey”
Girl: “Whats up”
Boy: “Nmu. Playing call of duty”
Girl: “Nothing. Watching gossip girl.”
**end of conversation**
Actually, you know what, never mind — I’m not nostalgic for middle school any more. Those three years never happened. They nevvvvvveerrrrrr happened.
Jack McGuire writes for BigDaddysCourt.com. If you enjoy his work, please give him a follow over on Twitter @BigDaddysCourt.