This Is The Awkward Conversation 37 Million Ashley Madison Subscribers Are Thinking About Having This Week

Can you imagine what would happen if all these 37 million Ashley Madison names were released? CAN YOU IMAGINE? I mean, Divorce attorneys must be blowing through every pair of dress pants they own from the anticipation of this. Their fucking ADULTERY BONERS must be unstoppable this week. Especially the ones in Ottawa.

I really whiffed on my choice of profession. Could be bathing myself in all the sweet, sweet infidelity money. Fuck, I messed up.

But probably not as bad as the 37 million people who might eventually be outed from these Ashley Madison hacks. Although I don’t know, all that strange trim (WHO DOESN’T LOVE STRANGE!?!) might be worth the broken home. I just don’t know.

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