Bad News Bros, We’re Almost Out Of Delicious Scotch Whisky

by 2 years ago
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Well, fuck. We reported frequently on how a run on delicious, American bourbon was causing significant shortages, but I had no idea our whiskey brethren across the way were struggling as well.

They are, and the world is running low on tasty, single malt scotch. Scotland is having the same problem we are. Brown liquor is soaring in popularity, and it takes time to make. But whereas an American bourbon can be tasty in five years, any worth a shit single malt scotch takes twice that time.

Shit could be tight for some time.

The industry woke up to the current boom too late. In the late 1980s, many distilleries were going out of business, and just a decade ago, Scotch exports were stagnating.

More capacity is being added now, but the bad news for whisky drinkers is the shortage could last another 10 to 15 years, experts say.

That is, like, I could be well dead before them. Fuck. But no one could have predicted this kind of popularity.

Enthusiasm for single malt Scotch — whisky made from the product of a single distillery rather than a blend — continues to surge. In the U.S., annual sales nearly tripled between 2002 and 2015, according to the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States.

Global single malt exports jumped 159% between 2004 and 2014, according to the Scotch Whisky Association.

While sales were skyrocketing, distilleries weren’t able to respond. All the stuff bought in 2014 was barreled before anyone knew what was coming. Now, even with production ramping up, there’s only so much that can be done.

“We are currently working at full capacity — seven days a week, 24 hours a day,” said Charlie Whitfield, a brand manager for Macallan. “We just need to be patient and allow those casks to work their magic.”

By early 2018, Macallan, one of the world’s most popular Scotch brands, will have a second distillery online. But it won’t be releasing bottles immediately — by law, all Scotch whisky must be aged for a minimum of three years.

Fucking shit. While I’m terrified of a Donald Trump presidency, I’m even more frightened at the thought of trying to endure it without whisky or bourbon.

Imagine that fucking world.

This really could be the end times.

[Via CNN Money]


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