Approaching a woman in public, who is otherwise a complete fucking stranger, is obviously a pretty daunting task. What if she runs away? What if she laughs in my face? What if she’s a lesbian? The list of shit that can go “wrong” is endlessly extensive. Here’s the thing though: if you spend your whole life in fear of approaching the opposite sex, you’re never going to properly learn how to handle rejection. I don’t care if you’re Brad Pitt or Joe Schmo working at Chipotle, everyone, at one time or another gets rejected. Accept this and move on or face the consequence of being a cowardly-weirdo forever.
Once you’ve overcome the fear of rejection, you’re pretty much golden. You’ve ultimately minimized the margin of the “worst case scenario,” and thusly nothing can really go wrong.
Unless you’ve taken the time to complete the aforementioned step, nothing that follows in this article is going to work for you. But if you’re ready to make rejection your bitch, then keep reading.
Buying a woman a drink as a means of being an ice breaker is a good idea in theory, but it also sort of sends this message: *read in the style of a Neanderthal* “Me man, you woman, me spend money on alcohol, you talk to me.”
Also, how many times have you bought a girl a drink and then she disappeared? Talk about adding insult to injury. Rejection is ONE thing. Wasting money is a whole other animal, which leads me to my next point….
Alcohol isn’t cheap. Most women are totally down with free booze. I’m just saying, I see no harm in coming up with better ways to handle it.
*Cue me telling you better ways to handle it*
Not rocket science, fellas. Just say something NICE. Not CREEPY, not VULGAR, but NICE. Here are some examples of each below:
Vulgar: “I wouldn’t mind bending you over.”
Creepy: “You remind me of my mother.”
Nice: “Your outfit is really pretty.”
Tell Her A Joke:
Being funny is always a plus. Making a girl laugh is more beneficial than buying her a watered down vodka cranberry. A joke will set a lighthearted tone for the rest of the interaction. It’s not necessarily the implication that you’re romantically interested in and it lessens the pressure from both sides.
Hear me out on this one, please. It may seem nerdy but it’s totally unique and definitely less cliché than, “What are you drinking, beautiful?” I don’t necessarily have suggestions for the type of magic trick. You can’t carry around a live animal and swallowing a sword seems detrimental to all parties involved. Google it.
Do I Know You?
Chances are you don’t know her, but if you say it convincingly enough it may spark further conversation. Pretend like you recognize her from school, church, that weird Thai “massage” parlor your frequent when you just can’t do it yourself anymore.. whatever works.
Fall In Front Of Her:
Is this getting ridiculous? IDK. I’m just trying to be clever. I’ve never hit on a girl before. I happen to think that a well-executed, believable trip and fall would be enough to get a girl’s attention. Hopefully she’s the sympathetic-sort who will help you up and ask if you’re okay and not the type who will laugh in your face.
Send Your Wingman First:
If he’s better looking than you, maybe don’t go with this one. Just kidding. Looks aren’t everything. Just kidding, it’s 2016, yes they are! Anyway, sometimes sending a friend over for you is a friendly way to get a feel for what kind of girl she is. If she thinks the whole, “See my friend over there?” thing is lame. Well, then she’s lame. It’s a classic move.
Ask What She Recommends:
I mean, alcohol was going to come into play eventually, right? Instead of buying her a drink, you can ask what her drink of choice is. Hopefully it’s something cool like a craft beer and not a Tequila Sunrise. She may be confused at first given the fact you’re not offering to BUY her one, but rather just asking a question. Women tend to think they know it all. They get used to a particular M.O. when it comes to guys in bars, throwing her for a loop should (hopefully) work in your favor.
Just Say Hi:
This seems like a strange concept in 2016, but the art of basic conversation never goes out of style. Simply saying hello to someone shouldn’t be that uncommon. In fact, if people were in the business of doing that more often, I wouldn’t have to facilitate a whole list to counteract the culture of buying women alcohol. If you say hello to a girl and she turns you down, that’s not on you dude.
Which leads me to some further commentary:
P.S. If you use any of these and the woman responds with, “I have a boyfriend.” I want you to laugh. A grown woman should be able to politely decline your advances without having to mention that she’s the “property” of another dude.
P.S.S. To the ladies who lie about having a boyfriend just to avoid conversation. WTF. Say, “No thank you” like your mommy taught you and walk away.