Bro Who Was So Fat He ‘Couldn’t Find His Penis’ Or Have Sex Loses Over 200 Pounds, Has Had Sex With 100+ Women

by 3 years ago

In a piece with the New York Post, comedian Jeff Beacher, of “Beacher’s Madhouse” fame, reveals that living an extravagant life of fame and fortune does come with its costs if you’re not careful, and for Jeff that cost was a ballooning weight that came from the hands of dining out far too often. According to Jeff, dining out with famous friends like Miley Cyrus and Mariah Carey left him “often having two lavish lunches, two multi-course dinners chased by 20 vodka Red Bulls.”


However it wasn’t until Jeff’s ability to breathe as well as his sex life became affected that he realized it was time to shed the pounds. According to Jeff he mostly had sex with groupies and has slept with over 100 women, but by 2014 the mounds of fat on his 415-pound frame began to take its toll:

…By 2014, because of my 415-pound bulk and my shrinking penis, it was difficult to have full sex, no matter what positions were used.

“I’m too drunk to get an erection,” I’d say to the groupies. My libido diminished, but I’d lie to tell my friends about all the sex I was getting.

Things came to a head in September 2014, when I didn’t sleep for three days because I was literally choking on my fat and had sleep apnea. Larry Rudolph, who manages Miley and Britney Spears, and his fiancee Jen Barnett encouraged me to go to a holistic vegan weight-loss center in West Palm Beach, Fla. As a result, I shed around 80 pounds during my stay and over the next four months.(via)

While the 80-pound weight loss was certainly helpful, Jeff says the weight eventually started creeping back – not just because of his fancy dinners, but because Jeff had gotten into “comfort eating” as a child when he found out he was adopted:

My weight issues date back to my childhood in Woodmere, Long Island, when I would comfort-eat to feel better. “Guess what? You’re adopted!” my older sister told me when I was 12. It was a shock and the first thing I reached for was a donut. Even though my parents were the greatest in the world, the experience led to a sense of emotional insecurity and fear of abandonment.(via)

Realizing that he “had to do something radical,” in April 2015 Jeff had gastric sleeve surgery to reduce the size of his stomach in order to prevent him from overeating. While gastric sleeve surgery does not prevent you from eating shit foods and only truly impacts how much food you can handle eating at one time, Jeff says that he “made the right choices, ate healthily and took up exercise”:

The pounds dropped off, and I now tip the scales at 195 pounds, after having at least 10 pounds of extra skin surgically removed. And the best thing of all is that my penis has miraculously gone back to its previous size, around 8 or 9 inches when erect.

I’m dating right now and there are no issues with sex. Soon, I’d like to meet a quality girl and settle down, maybe have kids.

Best of all, I feel like my whole existence has changed for the better.

…I never admitted it to myself at the time, but losing my penis emasculated me and damaged my confidence.(via)

Saying that being healthy and finally having a clear head is an immense improvement over his frame of mind while he was obese, Jeff is now “ready to finish conquering the world” and deems that his life is now “perfect.”

[Via NY Post]

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