These Bros Went To IKEA To Improve Their Tinder Profiles And GOD DAMNIT Why Didn’t I Think Of This?!

ikea

ikea


Tinder doesn’t care that you helped build a school for underprivileged children in south side Chicago or provided a vaccine for sick children in Africa, bro. Put that “valuable” shit on your resumé. It is not welcome here.

The name of the Tinder game is PICTURES, PICTURES, PICTURES. How does your face look? Are you a mass murderer? Don’t care. Show me your smile. Show me a picture from your *SuMmEr* Facebook album. I don’t care about your wants, needs, desires, or feelings. Perception isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.

And if you can fabricate it in any way, you should. Fake it till you make it. In all aspects of life.

And these bros exemplify that sentiment to the fullest, as they left their grimy ass apartments to venture to IKEA, where a clean, well-maintained “home” greeted them. If only to take pictures to bolster their Tinder games. Savages. And I love it.

When posting them to IMGUR, they accompanied the photos with captions, which I will relay to you bros.

“Reading is the essence of knowledge and knowledge is the essence of having many leather bound books.”

IKEA

“Draw you like a French mannequin girl.”

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“Because real men cook.”

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“Drinkin’ out of cups.”

 

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“Girls like guys who internet right?”

 

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I would shake your hands, fellas, but I’m afraid they’re covered in vagina juices.

[h/t LADbible]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.