Lest you thought that sexually transmitted diseases were limited to humans, I am here to inform you that animals too can get infected with shit like gonorrhea and Hep C.
And bunnies, who love to fuck, must be more at risk than any other animal. Because they love to fuck.
But now all those bunnies, who did all that fucking, all have syphilis.
In Brooklyn, animal control rounded up over 100 bunnies from a bunny compound. All the bunnies were suffering from symptoms I can only assume were bunny dick drip and bunny vaginal secretion. From DNA Info:
Police and animal welfare workers seized another 105 rabbits from a Gowanus backyard on Thursday after finding that some of the 74 bunnies taken earlier in the week during a snowstorm had syphilis and other diseases.
That’s nearly 200 infected bunnies. That is an epidemic.
The bunnies were discovered when a woman called animal control after seeing some of the bunnies outside before Murder Death Storm 2015. She was concerned they would freeze to death, not knowing that these bunnies had already fucked themselves to an early grave. It also sounds like the bunnies were cold.
On Thursday, officers from the NYPD’s Emergency Services Unit cut the lock on a gate leading to the bunny compound about 12:30 p.m. Police and workers with the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals spent more than two hours rounding up the cottontails and putting them in cages, boxes and animal carriers.
Some of the rabbits shivered visibly as they huddled in cages waiting to be placed in two ASCPA vans. When the rabbit raid was over, officers had taken 105 bunnies in all, a spokeswoman for Animal Care & Control of New York City said.
Said the NYPD, “The bunnies can’t help themselves. Somebody has to help the bunnies.”
So, so true. We need to educate the bunnies about safe sex.