We’ve gotten to the point in society where high-speed chases are boring. Speeding over 100 mph down the freeway? Boring. A few cars spin out of control and do some barrel rolls? Yawn. Something exploded? Whatever, Michael Bay did that out the last three Transformers movies, can you show me something new?
Well today you’re about to get that something new…and it involves chainsaws.
A high speed police chase between two thieves and a Duluth officer had the sergeant dodging chainsaws in the middle of North Road in Duluth.
Duluth Police are working to enhance the video to get a better look at the faces of the two men caught on camera throwing stolen chainsaws at a police car.
They were seen leaving Howard Brother’s hardware around 1:30 a.m. on Monday. An officer heard the store’s alarm and investigated.
He chased the minivan to North Berkeley Lake Road. They drove on the road side of the roadway across Pleasant Hill Road and tossed the three chainsaws and a weed-eater.
Oh, and a WEED-WHACKER, my apologies for not mentioning that bonus. I know what you’re thinking though. “I don’t care about a news story recap, WHERE ARE MY FLYING CHAINSAWS?!” Wow calm the fuck down, they’re right here:
Yeeaaahhh…that’s what the next Texas Chainsaw Massacre film is going to look like, albeit with a worse resolution because the budget on those things is crap. Coincidentally, the cost of all the stolen merchandise from Howard Brother’s hardware racked up to almost $19,000, which is the same amount of money the last Texas Chainsaw Massacre move made in ticket sales. Not the one with Matthew McConaughey though, that one made a whopping $8 despite a scene where he fellates a shotgun: