Kentucky Company Made A KFC Double Down-Scented Candle And It Won’t Give You Diarrhea

The KFC Double Down is pure innovation: bacon, two different kinds of melted cheese, and the Colonel’s secret sauce pinched in between two pieces of Original Recipe chicken fillets. It’s basically the edible version of America.

And sure, there’s nothing more comforting than the scent of fried America when you’re legless drunk after a night out at your local watering hole, but it’s usually paired with the payoff of scarfing one down. I can’t imagine how frustrating it would be to walk into your apartment being tantalized with only the scent of something that your taste buds would appreciate more. It’s like constantly being in a room full of models and knowing you’ll never be able to have sexual intercourse with any of them because you’re a blogger with a shitty fashion sense.

A company called Kentucky for Kentucky has released its new line of candles called “Scents of the Commonwealth,” including Hot Brown, Mint Julep, and the Double Down.

Check out the enticing product description below:

“So you want to feel the presence of a double down sandwich, but it’s mysteriously vanished from the KFC menu again. What a dilemma. Well good news Kentuckians, we’ve turned this elusive unicorn into a candle you can cradle year round. Layered with pure Kentucky goodness, this Double Down candle starts off with a layer of Kathy’s real Fried Chicken candle mixed with bacon pieces, easing into a bacon-scented center, finishing off with another layer of bonafide fried chicken. Let’s leave a candle in the window to show our friend the way home. #NeverForget #BringItBack #WhoNeedsBreadWhenYouHaveChicken.”

By all means, ladies and gentlemen. But I’m perfectly happy with my apartment smelling like weed and failure.



Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.