I know I’m preaching to the choir here but nothing chaps my ass quite like getting bombarded with cutesie wedding photos on my Facebook timeline every time I log on to creep on a girl. We get it, you’re in love. I’m over here trying to see if my ex put on weight and instead I’m being face fucked by the happiest day of your life. If I wasn’t invited to the wedding, I certainly don’t want to see you relive it on my feed.
But every now and then, a couple of trailblazers come along and use their wedding photos to mock the establishment. Those people are English newlyweds Gareth Ferguson, 29, and his wife Toni Ferguson, 26.
Gareth and Toni took a few standard wedding photos to show grandma. Like this one:
And this one:
Then they decided to give the people what they want by convincing the photographer to do a saucy photoshoot in various sex positions. Most notably, this one:
The couple claims that there were other photos taken, which were not posted on social media, but that these kinds of photos most aptly encapsulate their relationship.
Gareth told The Sun:
“Nobody knew about it except the photographer, Matt Hodgson. He found it hilarious when we told him what we wanted before the big day – he loved it.
“We got all our ‘normal’ photos out the way and then when everyone else was being seated snuck off for this one.
“We were in absolute hysterics. I’m glad you couldn’t see her face and I had my back to my camera because we could not stop laughing.
“Toni spent ages just staring at the floor giggling like a schoolgirl.
“I don’t think she would have made it through any of the others I wanted to do. That was by far the tamest one.”
After the picture was posted on Facebook, both Gareth and Toni began receiving nasty messages claiming that they are mocking the sanctity of marriage and deserve to burn in the depths of hell.
“People have told us it’s disgusting, that we’ve lost the plot or have missed what a wedding is supposed to be about.
“Some have even called it porn. You’d think they’d never seen a willy before.
“We’re a couple who like to have fun and so that’s what our wedding was about. And I enjoyed that photo more than any of the others because we could be ourselves and have a laugh.
“All the other photos were a bit boring and really awkward. They look so beautiful but it is weird having to stand in a line with all these people and pose and smile.
“Now we’ve got something for the wedding album that’ll be making us laugh for the rest of our lives and something we’ll definitely never forget.
“Some stranger sent me a message after seeing the photo calling into question my mothering but if my kids see that photo when they’re older and DON’T laugh then I’ve brought them up wrong.”
I wish nothing but a life of happiness and cunnylingus for these two heroes.
[h/t The Sun]