Warning: After this story you may never order pizza for pickup ever again.
Austin Michael Symonds was arrested in Austin, Texas after a customer who ordered pizza from his employer Papa Murphy’s walked in on him rubbing his junk on one of the company’s pre-prepared uncooked pizzas that customers can bake at home.
A customer told police that he walked into a Papa Murphy’s pizza at 3316 Williams Drive in Georgetown on Sept. 2 and saw an employee — Austin Michael Symonds — “rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered,” an arrest warrant said.
Symonds apologized to the customer saying “Man, I am really sorry that was stupid,” the warrant said. The customer asked Symonds how old he is, the warrant said.
The customer then said “So you are old enough to know better … ” the warrant said.
“Yes,” said Symonds, according to the warrant. During a recorded phone call Sept. 3 between Symonds and the store manager, Symonds said he was sorry for what he had done and “that he did what he did because the customer had called in the order right before closing time,” the warrant said.
Who hasn’t been pissed off as an 18 year-old making dick for money when some jackass orders something right at closing? But surely Symonds wouldn’t have actually given the customer his pizza with an extra helping of ballsack, would he?
Symonds also admitted to a police officer in a phone call Sept. 4 he would have given the pizza to the customer if he had not been caught, the warrant said. Symonds said “Probably. That’s the terrible part,” according to the warrant.
Oh, in case you were wondering, because I know you were, the pizza was a family-sized stuffed pizza with Canadian bacon, pineapple and extra cheese, hold the nuts.
Symonds has since been fired.
H/T Happy Place
Pizza image by Shutterstock