Have you ever gotten so high that you forgot your name? Or that you rolled into a McDonald’s drive-thru and tried to order a Whopper? Well congratulations if you’ve never done anything that stupid, but if you have then maybe it’s time to cut back on the marijuana. Just a little bit. Baby steps here people, I’m not saying to quit cold turkey and then become a Tibetan monk, but maybe cutting back from 3 blunts a day to just 1 might be a good move. If not, you might wind up like Redditor StumpNuts who had to find out the hard way that it was time for him to cut back. And yes, the hard way involves him being very, very dumb with Chipotle’s corporate.
I’ve always been a fan of wake and bake, this morning I packed a fat bowl and took it straight to the dome. I saw Parks and Rec was on and exclaimed “Fuck yeah” (I live alone) and started it up. At some point I fell asleep and woke up to a commercial that said Exxon and Chipotle teamed up.
For some stupid reason I was pissed. Hell, Chipotle just took an item off the menu because of they way they were treating animals, how could they possibly justify teaming up with a company who is destroying the planet?!
So I wrote this to Chipotle: “I’m amazed with your company, you pull pork from the shelves because pigs aren’t treated properly, which is awesome!
Now you’ve teamed up Exxon, a company who is destroying the planet and laughing about it as they run away from their responsibilities to the environment.
Your food is delicious, your moral compass is fucking disgusting.”
Chipotle has awesome customer service, I wrote them once before about my meal before and they wrote back within an hour, great people. Again they wrote back in about an hour, it hurt so bad to read…
“We definitely haven’t partnered with Exxon. The only thing I can find online that might suggest this is a fake commercial that aired on Parks & Rec recently. Which is an awesome show as far as I’m concerned, but I’m sorry if it caused any confusion! You can read the article I found on that here.
Thanks for your support of our stance on the carnitas shortage!
From the Fellowship of the Foil, A”
My god… it still makes me feel like a complete ass hole. Fuck me I can’t believe this shit just happened. The next quotes are the last two exchanges we had.
“Wow I’m retarded, I need to stop smoking so much weed.”
“Glad to have set you straight, Alex. The next time the munchies hit, hopefully you can head for Chipotle and feel good about where your money is going. 🙂
Your friend in the burrito business, A.”
If you read this A, you’re awesome, thanks for setting me straight.
TLDR: I’m stupid and wrote an angry letter to Chipotle for teaming up with Exxon. At least I didn’t rant about it on Facebook I guess.