Dating App Releases Statistics On Which Occupations Swipe The Most At Work And Yep, GUILTY!

I’ve already conceded to the fact that I’m going to meet my wife at around 11 am on an idle Tuesday while I’m on the toilet swiping right in between games of Candy Crush with that loser from my high school. The childish fantasy of meeting a girl at the library while both browsing the Nicholas Sparks section has long escaped me, and I’ve become perfectly content with our story beginning while Rick from Accounting purges out his burrito in the stall next to me. Whatever, man. We all die alone anyway.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME, nothing quite gets the blood flowing like a quick speed-swiping session in between TPS reports. Or in some cases, not so quick. Some of us have acquired a mild case of arthritis from swiping so much on company hours. Don’t look at me with those judging eyes, dick.

A dating app called The Grade just released statistics on what percentage of their users swiped during work hours (9 am- 6 pm, Monday-Friday) and what industry those users work in. Although the data is only correlates to The Grade users, its likely represented of the entire dating app industry.

Sidenote: For those bros not in the know about the spread of dating apps available–The Grade uses a secret algorithm that assigns actual letter grades to users based on criteria like how often one is liked on the app and his/her responsiveness to their matches. It’s basically dating app Darwinism–weeding out the weak ones. If you’re sick of matching with robots on Tinder, give it a shot. No harm in casting a wider net.

Here are the results:

Nice. Remind me never to go into surgery to avoid the doc dropping his phone into my chest cavity. k thanks.

I call bullshit on Accountants not swiping right at work. I worked in Accounting right after college and I swiped through the entire East Coast in a fortnight. Real talk.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.