People Confessed What Their Dating Profiles Would Say If They Were 100% Honest And They’re Freaking Perfect



We all know that almost every dating profile we see online has lies or at the very least embellishments in them. Heck, if you’ve ever created one, you probably did it yourself. It’s only natural, right? We want people to actually WANT to date us and telling the truth? Eh, they can find out about that later.

That being said, what if we did tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? My guess is that our profiles would look at whole lot like these responses people shared on Reddit. That and some of us would never be able to go on a date again.

See if any of these sound familiar?

I spend multiple hours per day doing absolutely nothing productive, then I get a spur of inspiration and become extremely productive for an hour or so. During that time, I hypocritically judge others around me for not being productive. ~ SquatyPotty

Mine would probably say “If you see me naked you’ll be surprised with the averageness of my wiener compared to how big I am. I make an okay amount of money and drive a Ford. I drink way too much beer and eat horribly. I’m the kinda guy you go for when you’re in your late 20s to early 30s and all your girlfriends are already married and you finally decide ‘eh he’s good enough.’ I will probably not live up to good enough though.” ~ NiceAndSoftNonErect

The same thing 90% of people on dating sites would say if they were being completely honest:

I’m doing this online dating thing because I’m kinda lonely, a little horny, but mostly ambivalent about dating. So chances are that unless you’re really hot or just generally out of my league, I’ll probably just flirt with you a little online then lose interest. ~ giverofnofucks

I don’t know how to split my time between relationships and hobbies. So uh, I kinda just want someone who chills out at my place on the weekends to watch netflix and wants to go out to eat with me. ~ DemeaningSarcasm

I’m a fantastic dresser, so you’re bound to be disappointed when I take off my clothes. ~ TryingToBeMattTaibbi

Are you ready for an adventure? You should probably look elsewhere. ~ CuntyMcFagNuts69

“Likes short walks on the beach.” ~ Streetsweepah

“You will ask yourself, ‘Is there anything wrong with this guy?’ during the first month, and the answer will be no. On the first day of the fifth week of our relationships, my emotional issues will come flooding out like a Haitian tsunami. Buckle up, lassy.” ~ BanDover

I’m just tired of sleeping alone. ~ BuddhaMindTricks

Cute but troubled, has issues communicating and will try to make up for everything by cooking. Cries constantly. ~ WlTCH

I’m like a 5/10, but sometimes I’ll put on makeup and become a 6, maybe 6.5/10. Also, your mother will LOVE me! ~ oishster

You’d probably be better off getting a cat. ~ ricotehemo

I’m married. And straight. Really I’m just on grindr looking for a new hairstylist, but if you wanna grab a beer sometime that’s cool too. ~ jbm222

I’m looking to date 7 to 10 years younger because I’m aging really well. You know, all the sleep from being single and childless. ~ tivofanatico

Asshole when hungry. ~ BenderDeLorean

Please date me. ~ Jabba_the_cat

Check out the rest of the hilarious responses, there are so many more good ones, over at Reddit.