Disney Files Patent for ‘Real’ Lightsabers And It’s About Damn Time

When I was a kid the possibility of someday owning a real, working lightsaber didn’t seem that far fetched. That was 25 years ago. How the hell do not have real lightsabers yet?!!? People can modify Nintendo zappers and turn them into weapons but no one can figure out how to make a retractable lazer that slices people in half?!?! That’s bullshit.

The Disney people are allegedly working on lightsaber technology but it sounds boring as hell. Boring as in “safe” and “not real.”

Walt Disney Co has filed a patent for real lightsabers.

The company is looking to bring Star Wars to life with its “Audience Interaction Projection System,” which gives visitors the opportunity to use real-life beam swords in a manner that is safe and fun.

Although there are many ways and environments in which this Disney idea could come to life, the most likely one seems to be a theater with certain “particulate matter” that can activate your lightsaber. This could be liquid nitrogen, water vapor, or even dust.

Sounds cool, I know, but they’re gonna suck. Why? Because you won’t be able to use them on other people.

The LED-device would use infrared technology to battle illusions that appear to be real objects coming at you, including drones and laser beams. You would then be able to battle these hazards with your lightsaber, or even have battles.

You just said BATTLES because we were all angry. Admit it! We won’t be able to battle. You’re such a pussy, Disney company. What’s the worst that could happen?


[via MSN]