This Drunk Groom Who Can’t Handle A Simple Wedding Reception Lapdance On His Wife 100% Didn’t Get Laid That Night

It’s your wedding so you can do whatever the fuck you want, but if you’re on another planet where streams are filled with Franzia and people chug a handle of Skyy the minute they wake up whereas your wife is stone-cold sober, you’re gonna have a problem. And no, I’m not talking about the hangover that’ll make you contemplate suicide the morning after — I’m talking about your wife.

She is going to murder you.

You can just see on this poor woman’s face that she’s trying to remember whether or not she threw in a trusty chainsaw on her wedding registry, because if not she’s gonna have to figure out a way to dismember this guy with ease so finding his body will be a bitch and a half for the cops. Worst case scenario she dumps the body into a ravine somewhere and crosses her fingers, but of course this all happens after he comes off the worst hangover of his life.

…or at least that’s how I’d do it. HYPOTHETICALLY.