How Much Of A Drunken Mess Is St. Patrick’s Day In Chicago? Read This Man’s Police Scanner Live-Blog

Since St. Patrick’s Day is on a Tuesday this year, most cities got rowdy with the biggest drinking holiday of the year this past weekend. Here in New York, my neighborhood was a sea of green all day on Saturday. It was pretty tame compared to Wrigleyville in Chicago, where an under-staffed police department was busy keeping the peace with thousands of drunken revealers in the neighborhood.

At, one brave blogger tuned into the local police scanner all day and ran a running live-blog of the calls that came in over the radio. It’s a birds-eye portrait of just how much of a drunken shit show St. Patrick’s Day is in Wrigleyville: There are fights, passed out people all over the street, and “an intoxicated woman banging her head on the concrete.” One Bro was found passed out in a bathroom… at 11AM Sunday morning.

Sounds about right. Here are a few of the highlights:

11:03AM — Britney calls police because the bouncer at Red Ivy, 3525 Clark, thinks her ID is fake and he won’t give it back. Police run the ID, confirm that it’s legit, and Britney gets it back. Yay, Britney!

12:08PM — CONGRATULATIONS! We have our first arrest of the day! A man is taken into custody outside of Slugger’s bar for allegedly battering a police officer. Way to go, champ! Case HY184122.

1:47PM — RING THE BELL! We have our first knock-out of the day. An ambulance is summoned for “a guy so drunk he can’t stand up” at 3525 Clark.

4:07PM — “An intoxicated woman banging her head on the concrete” 3300 Clark.

4:31PM — A tall white male wearing one shoe is screaming at a woman in the 3500 block of Janssen.

4:39PM — A tall white male with red hair and one shoe is running westbound on Grace. He’s been badly beaten. Officers find the man on Ashland and learn that he had been jumped and beaten by four men at Addison and Clark minutes earlier. He describes the offenders as four black men. One wore a black North Face jacket and another wore a red True Religion shirt. He declines police and fire services. The cops give him a ride home any way.

5:26PM — A Wrigleyville woman asks her neighbors to turn down their party music. They threaten her and claim to have a gun.

5:29PM — Man in the 3900 block of Janssen is calling 911 on behalf of his roommate who got beat up. Victim tells officers that he was just moseying along past the Wrigleyville McDonalds about 20 minutes ago when a group of people “cold-cocked” him. Ambulance requested. Battery report filed.

5:44PM — People are throwing valuable beer from the second floor of 3118 Sheffield.

6:20PM — Three white guys are fighting in the Wrigleyville McDonald’s.

9:00PM — “An unknown white male wearing a green tuxedo shirt and a green top hat is on her back porch and it’s supposed to be a secured area!” 1400 block of Roscoe.

9:41PM — A “very drunk man” threatening the street musician at Broadway and Diversey. “He’s picking up the instruments and throwing them” at the victim.

9:44PM — Couple having sex on the wood chips at the back of a playlot. 918 Fletcher. “It’s unknown if it’s consensual.”

11:45PM — Two men are fighting over a woman in the iHop parking lot, Grace and Halsted. Battery report taken.

12:52AM — Jennifer says she and her boyfriend were walking along when a group of guys started beating him up at Halsted and Waveland. No cars are available to take the call for nearly 20 minutes and Jennifer’s long gone when cops arrive.

2:51AM — Another equally-large fight erupting outside of Taco Bell. One victim, believed to have a broken nose, is taken to Masonic.

11:16AM — Walgreens, 714 Diversey, reports a person passed out in their bathroom. Officer arrives and reports, “You’re not going to believe this, but this is a leftover from yesterday’s festivities.” Ambulance transports the individual to Masonic.

Shout out to the Bro who passed out in a Walgreens bathroom and wasn’t discovered until 11AM the next morning. Now THAT’s a story we want to here.

If you have any pics, videos, or stories from St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans, e-mail us. We want to post ’em.

Seriously, just go read the entire Chicago police radio live blog here. It’s a work of blog art. 

Congrats to this champ. You da real MVP:

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: