This Dude’s Viral Facebook Post Demanding His Wife And Side Chick Get Along Will Probably End Well For Him…

See my man Lonnie, here? Well he done fucked up. Lonnie decided to hop onto Facebook and post the below status, which has since gone viral because it shatters proper side chick protocol.

Duuuude. This takes self-sabotage to a whole new level. A Johnny Manziel level. If you’ve got a wife and a side piece, you best treat them like church and state or you’re going to end up alone at the bar at Chili’s ordering frozen margaritas and trying to hit on the waitress whose half your age. Oh she calling the house phone? You best tell your wife that it’s Jake from State Farm or you’re going to be whipping your hog on the couch for the next six months. I mean Christ, Lonnie, what was the end game here? The goal? Were you expecting them to come to an amicable agreement about banging you simultaneously after you blasted them as being pawns in your fucked up game to all of social media? I’m fully expecting an answer because I need to know just how stupid a human being can be.

The comment section is uniformly messages like this one:

But Lonnie doesn’t see himself as a dirtbag, he sees himself as a trail blazer.

What courage, bros. Take a page out of this dude’s book if you’re trying to commit social suicide.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.