We take you to the wonderfully bizarre and often times terrifying world of Reddit’s “Today I Fucked Up” subreddit. Redditor SteffanStewart shared his frightening tale of how he unintentionally sent his girlfriend to the E.R. after an intense fuck sesh.
Now I know this sounds bad but hear me out on this one. So this morning I woke up to the girlfriend grinding into me, which naturally turned me on. Without getting into unnecessary detail, we proceeded to do the mattress mambo. Everything was going great until right after she orgasmed – her skin suddenly turned pale and she rolled over whimpering and holding her lower abdomen. I tried to figure out what was wrong and all she could tell me was that she felt a stabbing pain in her lower abdomen. Worried and unsure of what to do in the situation, I took her to to the emergency room.
At this point I truly believed that the storyteller was doing a bit of humblebragging and the anecdote was fake. “Oh my gargantuan dick sent my girlfriend to the hospital because I was sooooo enormous.” I was especially convinced it was a hoax since it wasn’t written by Roberto Esquivel Cabrera. However then shit got serious and I quickly retracted my accusations of fabrication.
I don’t recall what tests were all ran on her, but after several hours of waiting we were given a diagnosis as to what happened. It seems that she had an ovarian cyst roughly the size of a golf ball and as she orgasmed her muscle contractions caused for the cyst to rupture, with the consistent thrusting of my wang being a contributing factor. Hopefully now that we are educated on the signs and symptoms of ovarian cysts this won’t happen again.
He not only gave her a screaming orgasm, but also discovered a cyst? This guy is a fucking saint on Earth!
I would so tell this girl that we need to see other people, but it’s not because of her, it’s for the good of humanity. This goddamn miracle worker obviously has a talent for finding ovarian cysts, and why be so greedy to only share this gift with only one woman who has already been cured? I’d go on Tinder to advertise myself as “The guy with the magical penis that can discover vagina maladies.” Think of all the damaged honey pots you could save! You could be the Mother fucking Theresa of gash. I’m sorry, but with great power comes great responsibility.