Just when I thought I’ve nailed down all my excuses not to go to the gym, a fucking dachshund puts in the hours to shed half his body weight and is now primed to steal my girl.
According to Huffington Post, a Texas dog named Fat Vincent (BODY SHAMING!) ballooned to 38 pounds after his owner presumably fed him a diet solely consisting of fast food. The standard size for a dachshund is 16-25 pounds.
Fat Vincent landed at the Texas’ Harris County Animal Shelter about eight months ago after his owner passed away. When arriving at the shelter, Vinnie’s cholesterol was through the roof, he was low-energy, sad-eyed, and hadn’t been laid in months. Probably.
That’s when dachshund rescuer Melissa Anderson contacted the shelter to offer to be Vinnie’s owner, personal trainer, life coach and dietician. She put the seven-year-old pup through a vigorous regiment which included a new, healthy diet, long walks and even water aerobics in Anderson’s pool.
Check out Vinnie making himself better while I refresh Instagram and finger my belly button.
Vinnie’s lifestyle change didn’t come without some speed bumps, as his “detoxing” caused for some initial sickness and on his walks, passers-by would make negative comments and assume Melissa was to blame for his weight. Haters gon’ hate.
In eight months, Fat Vincent transformed into Skinny Vinnie aka Mista Steal Yo Girl.
“He is the sweetest, funniest, happiest guy now,” Anderson told CNN.
Props to Melissa and Skinny Vinny for reminding us that achieving fighting weight knows no age, gender, or species. Excuse me while I polish off this tub of Ben & Jerry’s.
[h/t Huffington Post]