If You’re So Fat That You Can Steal Wal-Mart Steaks By Hiding Them In Your Ass Like This Guy It’s Time To Stop Eating


Look, I’m not saying that being a bit overweight is a problem. Sure it’s not the healthiest thing, but shit happens.

This guy is not “a bit overweight.” He is a fucking cow; a single shining example of the disgustingly gluttonous state our country is devolving into, Rodney Fowler is the reason why fat people get so much shit in public.

What did Rodney do, you ask? He rolled into Wal-Mart (no really, he was on a scooter because God forbid you burn a few calories walking like we’ve evolved to do), proceeded to grab a few steaks and shove them under his ass. Why would Rodney do such a thing? Does he like the feeling of cold meat underneath his butthole? Was he trying to pound them out before cooking them back home? Neither! He was doing it so he could sneak them out of the store without paying.

Yes, Rodney is so fat that he was able to hide 5 rib eye steaks underneath his massive gelatinous ass and managed to make it out the front doors.

“Suspect sat on the steaks and exited the store passing all points of sale, without attempting to pay for said merchandise,” cops noted.

The 5’ 5” Fowler was then confronted by the Walmart worker and escorted back into the store, where he was later arrested by police for shoplifting. “Due to his size, the suspect was cuffed using two pairs of cuffs,” investigators noted.

Via The Smoking Gun

Knowing Wal-Mart, they probably put the butt steaks back on the shelves because “Fuck you,” that’s why. If your standards ever get so low that you’re willing to not only smuggle steaks out of the K-Mart of grocery stores by hiding them under your ass, but also eat that meat, then there’s a problem.

A big giant fat one, to be exact.

[H/T and image via Smoking Gun]