Florida Bro Risks His Life In Hurricane To Interrupt Live News Broadcast With ‘Dicks Out For Harambe’ Chant

Hurricane Matthew has re-strengthened to a Category 4 hurricane prior to reaching the east coast of Florida early tomorrow morning. Evacuation orders have been given for more than 2 million people from the Florida barrier islands to coastal Georgia and South Carolina. Millions of Floridians will be in harm’s way from impending storm surge flooding, flash and urban flooding, flying debris and structural damage.

But, Harambe is still fallen, and justice takes no days off. You don’t have to tell this Blake Anderson doppleganger that, who braved the storm to remind Floridians everywhere to pull their cocks out in Harambe’s memory during a live weather broadcast. Even if the storm will surely helicopter dicks around like a dreidel, a message made in trying times is a message remembered.

Not even joking, I honestly believe Harambe has taken storm form to avenge his untimely death. Batten down the hatches, Cincinnati!

[h/t Mediaite]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.